I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
