I'm lost and stupid without you.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
