Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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