Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
