part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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