so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
