So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
she told me i tasted like america
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
