I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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