Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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