you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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