i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
