She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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