I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.