Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I am available for nakedness
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
