She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
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Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
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This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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