Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
