1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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