I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
True college students do jello shots in the library
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