Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
