I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Randomize
