I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
