youre lurking in front of me
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize
