Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
