Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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