It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
