One girl and one boy is just not enough.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
