i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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