she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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