I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
If I die, sorry about rent.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
