We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
