Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
At least life still wants to fuck me.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
