He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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