i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Dignity is for republicans.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
