what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
