I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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