He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
