you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
