she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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