My friends, they love my intelligence
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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