He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
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You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
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I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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