I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
