ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Everclear isn't food dammit
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
