dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Randomize
