there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
