I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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