loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
