Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
