I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
