One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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