saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO