Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
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my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going