some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I think I am morally bankrupt
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
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