to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?