remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night