The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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