38 yer olds are good kisserssss
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
