She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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