she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
