You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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