You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
