porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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