she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
