Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
